A playwright? Back when I was incarcerated, if you were, like, a model prisoner, which I was, they used to take us out to the theatre district. You know, we lived for those field trips! They would get cheap tickets for some play that stunk so bad they couldn’t give them away. Know what I mean? They thought they were torturing us. Well, one night we’re watching this musical, Tastes Like Chicken. Hey! You got the poster! You do time too?
Three years, less a day.
Then you know it’s all about this guy who likes to kill people, and then he eats them!
That’s the guy! I mean there are so many quicker ways of getting rid of a body, but to each his own. Capiche? People were leaving left and right, but that play was the best one we ever seen! That prison scene at the end, when he’s eating breakfast and somebody shivs him and he dies face down in his cereal, and then they sing that song about Captain Crunch? That was so real to us! We would have given it a standing ovation, but that’s hard to do when you’re all chained together. I had tears in my eyes! Reminded me so much of how my godfather went. Face down in his wedding soup!