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DOGS BARKING MAD OVER TECHNOLOGY

Thousands of canines blocked workers trying to enter Google Inc. headquarters in a concerted effort to roll back technologies which they say are harming them. Some wore masks so as not to be identified, but a few volunteered to give brief interviews to the fake press. Dudley, a Labrador Retriever: “I used to take pride in the fact that I cleaned up anything that hit the kitchen floor. My parents never needed to vacuum in the kitchen.  They called me…

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HUNDRED STORY TRUMP TOWER OPENS IN PORT STANLEY

Cheers erupted as Donald Trump cut the ceremonial ribbon in Port Stanley Ontario, once a modest commercial fishing and retirement haven on the north shore of Lake Erie. “This outlandish monolith could never have happened were it not for the outgoing Council’s determination to make Port unrecognizable”, stated Trump. Trump’s development looked even more impressive sandwiched between two miniscule five-story condo projects near the corner of Melania Street and Donald Trump Boulevard. “I honestly didn’t think this could happen here”,…

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SYNOPSIS OF TOAST

Jason Dark is depressed and suicidal.  His latest play, Last Moments, has been rejected and his optimistic, movie buff, grammarian  Ma is the Happy Valley  Nursing Home tramp, currently curling the toes of boyfriend Buck, a Wasp centenarian who believes himself to be black.  Jason hasn’t slept in a bed since his father tried to smother him, and thus has yet to make love to his fiancee/therapist, Val.  Val has designs  on Happy Valley owner Forbes and on Ma’s inheritance. …

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