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HUNDRED STORY TRUMP TOWER OPENS IN PORT STANLEY

Cheers erupted as Donald Trump cut the ceremonial ribbon in Port Stanley Ontario, once a modest commercial fishing and retirement haven on the north shore of Lake Erie. “This outlandish monolith could never have happened were it not for the outgoing Council’s determination to make Port unrecognizable”, stated Trump. Trump’s development looked even more impressive sandwiched between two miniscule five-story condo projects near the corner of Melania Street and Donald Trump Boulevard. “I honestly didn’t think this could happen here”,…

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SYNOPSIS OF TOAST

Jason Dark is depressed and suicidal.  His latest play, Last Moments, has been rejected and his optimistic, movie buff, grammarian  Ma is the Happy Valley  Nursing Home tramp, currently curling the toes of boyfriend Buck, a Wasp centenarian who believes himself to be black.  Jason hasn’t slept in a bed since his father tried to smother him, and thus has yet to make love to his fiancee/therapist, Val.  Val has designs  on Happy Valley owner Forbes and on Ma’s inheritance. …

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GIVE TO CHARITY

With Xmas looming, what better time to find worthwhile charities with which to share your seasonal blessings! Here are nine you might consider: Restaurant Feline Rescue This charity locates feral cats and matches them with owners willing to swallow the expenses of adoption.. These kitties are placed in a warm inviting environment and surrounded with food. They are treated as special, daily. Even tough customers tend to swallow when they reflect on, and digest the end result of this adoption…

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