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Excerpts from Fake News and Alternate Facts

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KNOWLEDGE OF SHAKESPEARE PROVEN THERAPEUTIC

A recent psychological study has found that quoting Shakespeare in times of stressful conflict is ten times more therapeutic than mindless cursing. Traffic and parking situations are known to be particularly stressful so the behavioral scientists who designed the study made good use of such scenarios. This took place in a small resort town where the subjects were either the control group of retired carnival workers or the experimental group of retired Shakespearean scholars. In the first scenario, scientists set…

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Excerpts from Fake News and Alternate Facts

TRUMP U FOXES UPSET COASTAL ELITES IN ELECTORAL COLLEGE BOWL!

The stunning victory marked the first time in eight years a Middle American school was crowned College Bowl champs! Head Coach Biff Bannon was jubilant as he oversaw his boys dousing teammates with vodka and engaging in locker room talk directed at triple-named cheer leaders Kelly Green Conway and Hilda Huckaby Sanders, both of whom pointedly ignored them. Early in the contest it became clear that Coastal QB Butch Clinton had lost touch with his receivers and had to rely…

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Archives Excerpts from Fake News and Alternate Facts

SUPREME COURT UPHOLDS BACON MURDER VERDICT

This concerns the trial of Regina Crackling, 54, a homemaker charged in the death of her husband, Butch Crackling. Trial testimony painted a bleak picture of Mr. Crackling as a bullying spouse who denigrated his wife’s looks, abilities, and especially her cooking, despite the fact that he eagerly gobbled up anything she placed before him. According to Ms. Crackling her husband was also an inconsiderate lover who kept her awake nights due to his constant snoring. “He was a pig!”…

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