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THE CRIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINERS

At first their Man O’ War was mistaken for one of those faux tall ships that feature a young good-looking crew, the kind that hires itself out to ports looking to attract tourists to local business. Of course, after docking they participated in all six prohibited pier activities, including skateboarding.   As it was the evening of the Legion Halloween party, nobody took notice, except when Captain Morgan failed to win the best costume award, due to his rusty hook.…

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DOGS BARKING MAD OVER TECHNOLOGY

Thousands of canines blocked workers trying to enter Google Inc. headquarters in a concerted effort to roll back technologies which they say are harming them. Some wore masks so as not to be identified, but a few volunteered to give brief interviews to the fake press. Dudley, a Labrador Retriever: “I used to take pride in the fact that I cleaned up anything that hit the kitchen floor. My parents never needed to vacuum in the kitchen.  They called me…

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Featured How to Improve a Port Paradise

         WINSTON STAG’S KOKOMO ADDRESS

Deerly Beloved,  we are gathered here to take measures against the threats to our very existence.  We have always had to deal with the Nasties, from  when natives used their bows and arrows, up to now when Nasty men with small packages use big guns. But somehow we survived. Now those Nasties have come up with a final solution to exterminate us.  They are doubling their population, building houses, felling trees and crowding us out of our homeland on the…

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