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HUNDRED STORY TRUMP TOWER OPENS IN PORT STANLEY

Cheers erupted as Donald Trump cut the ceremonial ribbon in Port Stanley Ontario, once a modest commercial fishing and retirement haven on the north shore of Lake Erie. “This outlandish monolith could never have happened were it not for the outgoing Council’s determination to make Port unrecognizable”, stated Trump. Trump’s development looked even more impressive sandwiched between two miniscule five-story condo projects near the corner of Melania Street and Donald Trump Boulevard. “I honestly didn’t think this could happen here”,…

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TOAST

Jason Dark has every reason to end it all.  His latest play, Last Moments, has just been rejected, his mother is the Nursing Home Ho, he hasn’t slept in a bed since his father tried to smother him, nor has he been able to make love successfully with his therapist fiance.  But a bolt of lightning changes all that!  Will love prevail or will they all be toast? (5M 4F) The setting is the porch at Happy Valley Nursing Home.…

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Excerpts From Self Help For Other People Featured

ADOPT STICK KIDS

We see them lined up on the rear windows of the car ahead of us. But only Mom and Dad in the car. They probably left their kids behind. Probably with a babysitter or grandparent. Maybe in Daycare The truth? They have no kids. Instead they choose to adopt Stick Kids! Yes, that couple is living a lie. But why have so many of us chosen to adopt Stick Kids instead of having real children? Well, to begin with, childbirth…

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