Archives Excerpts From Flipper

DEATH BY A HUNDRED CATS

MORT

See, I was mortally afraid of cats long before Lou scratched my eyes out ! Have been since a child. My parents’ cat almost smothered me in my crib! So I was having this nightmare where all these cats were stalking me. Surrounding me and coming closer and closer. Then they all leapt at me. Their eyes. I’ll never forget their eyes. I should have woken up screaming, but in this case, the cats had all been de-clawed, so they were padding me to death. Sort of like the Chinese water torture. A lot of them were actually Siamese. And they had me on my stomach, see, and were prancing around on my back, all cat-like and giving me the odd pad just to show me who was boss. And purring. But it was an evil purr! Then they all cried out in unison! But instead of going “mew”, they were going “Lou”

 

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