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“LOCAL” CREATIVES RESCUE ARTISTIC BACKWATER

According to the press release from Establishment Media, entitled“Edgy Artistic Event Pushes Small Town Boundaries”, Laura,was there, so were Jaclyn, Karissa, Kat, Bobby, Marty and Grayden. Local Creatives don’t need last names. Did Andy need a last name? Did Pablo? You don’t recognize these names? Well for sure you are not a Local Creative.

Rob and Chloe were also there, making a statement with their surreal poses, black lights, body paint, and glow sticks. One such statement featured a diaper and a position stolen from the Kama Sutra. “It was enough to pique some interest”

Like they say, “you have to experience it to understand it”.

Where were these Local Creatives?? They were at Jac’s House, an unpretentious art gallery,on the edge of St. Thomas Ontario, on October 20th between 8PM and 11PM, whereas you were at home bingeing on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and wondering why Lisa Vanderpump will not attend Camille Grammar’s wedding.

You were not present at ”an edgy artistic event designed to push the small town boundaries” of St Thomas. Was the local population ready for an “event that is more commonly seen in larger cities”, like London Ontario, for instance? Hell, yeah!.

“This event, inspired by the New York art world, turned out to be just what St Thomas was craving.”

Whereas you were craving Doritos.

Maybe you feel you are a Local Creative even though you were watching cat videos while this transformative event was taking place. A short survey should reveal the truth:

Which statement would you be more likely to utter, “A” or “B”?

A “Even those who weren’t photographers were inspired to use the artistically lit scenes as backdrops for their own photos.”

B “Folks took selfies”

A “Your eyes are a moody magenta”

B “Your eyes look bloodshot”.

A “The dog’s work of art was a phthalo blue”.

B The dog ’just threw up a blue crayon”.

A “Wish I‘d been there!”

B Wish these condescending and pretentious poseurs would kiss my small town boundaries!

A “I want to read more about this at establishmedia.ca!

B “I want to blind myself with a fork!”

Judging by your answers you must admit you are not a Local Creative and would never be admitted to such an event. You will never get to see “a new era of art and culture in St Thomas- Elgin”

You may be a person who creates images that are placed on walls, but sadly, you will never get to see artist/models like Karissa and Emily wearing masks, roaming the gallery space in night attire.

Cheer up. It’s not your fault you have been living in a cultural wasteland all this time. But be assured.

Help is on the way.

 

 

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