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RETIREES WANTED!

As a person of a certain age, have you ever spotted an attractive person of the opposite sex approaching, perhaps forty of fifty years younger? Of course you give them a welcome smile in passing, only to get no reaction whatsoever. Then you realize. “I am invisible”! If this happens to you over and over, do not despair. Your invisibility opens a whole new career for you in the exciting realm of espionage! The CIA, Mossad, CSIS, and MI5 are…

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Archives Excerpts from Fake News and Alternate Facts Free Stuff!

GRIMM’S FAIRY AND BALANCED TALES

Linguistic experts at Trump University have unearthed and retranslated the oldest versions of the famous Grimm’s Fairy Tales, shedding new light on the social conditions of the Dark Ages. Take for example, one of the most famous tales, now retranslated as “Little Red Robin Hood”. Little Red Robin Hood was bob bob bobbing through the forest when she was approached by a Big Bad Wolf. “Where are you going?” asked the wolf. “Over the river and through the woods to…

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LET’S ELIMINATE TOURISTS

Tourists are very nice people who come to our picturesque portside piece of heaven and turn it into a living hell! These Spawn of Satan plague residents with doofus questions like: “Is that the water?”, “Can I eat at that restaurant?” “Do I look fat in this Speedo?” They have to go! Local government has thankfully come to the same conclusion by making the day tripper experience as deadly as possible. How? Well heatstroke killed more than 600 people in…

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