Thanks to the Virus, isolating couples are spending quantity time together like never before. But how is all this togetherness affecting your relationship?  Remember  The Shining?  If only clueless screamer Shelley Duvall had realized that after spending a winter with Shelley in the middle of nowhere, husband Jack Nicholson’s state of mind had changed to the point where he went after her with an axe.

In that film Jack never told Shelley he yearned  to dismember her. She never had a Early Warning System.  If only she could have said, “Hubby, put down the axe and play me some songs that represent where you are in our relationship”

Shelley could then have made up playlists like those below for Jack to choose from and thus reveal his feelings about her.  I’m betting on Playlist Eight.

  Playlist One: The Honeymoon Stage.  No worries.

More Than A Feeling – Boston

Tonight’s the Night – Rod Stewart

Let’s Get It On! – Marvin Gaye

The Stripper – David Rose Orchestra

Love to Love You Baby – Donna Summer

Gonna Make You Sweat – C+C Music Factory

Playlist Two:   It Gets Old Stage:  Quite normal..

“I love you but I’m not in the mood”.

I Can’t Explain – The Who

One Thing Leads To Another – The Fixx

Under Pressure – David Bowie

Not Ready To Make Nice – Dixie Chicks

Keep Your Hands to Yourself – Georgia Satellites

Playlist Three: The Claustrophobic Stage:  Not unusual  I love you but you are so clingy!”

You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me – The Miracles

I Want You Back – Jackson Five

If You Leave me Now – Chicago

Haven’t Got Time For The Pain – Carly Simon

Big Girls Don’t Cry – The Four Seasons

Needy – Ariana Grande

Playlist Four: The  Resentment Stage:  “Why am I doing everything?”  You can fix this.

Respect – Aretha Franklin

A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

More Than This – Roxy Music

Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds

With You Or Without You – U-2

Chain Gang – Sam Cooke

Playlist Five: The Realism Stage  “Now I see you as you are.”   So you need to change a little?  No problem.

Hurt – Johnny Cash

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? – Culture Club

You’re So Vain – Carly Simon

True Colours – Cyndi Lauper

Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who

 Playlist Six:  The Acceptance Stage   Why the LCBO is an essential service

Sherry – The Four Seasons

Tequila – The Champs

Red Red Wine – UB-40

There’s a Tear in my Beer – Hank Williams

Warm Beer and Cold Women – Tom Waits

The Needle And The Damage Done – Neil Young

Playlist Seven The Desperation Stage  Get out while you still can.

Close to the Edge – Yes

Livin’ La Vida Loca – Ricky Martin

Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai

It’s All Over Now  – The Rolling Stones

Runaway – Del Shannon

Go Now – The Moody Blues

Hit the Road Jack – Ray Charles

Playlist Eight The Mayhem Stage  “Here’s Johnny!”

Take On Me – A-Ha

Love Hurts – Nazareth

Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar

Nut Rocker – B Bumble & The Stingers

If I Had A Hammer – Peter, Paul, and Mary

Psycho Killer – Talking Heads

Unfortunately Shelley existed in a 1980 horror film and did not have access to playlists.  But you do. This is not to say that your isolation partner has become an homicidal maniac. But it wouldn’t hurt to use this method to double check.  Amazon reports online sales of axes are skyrocketing!


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