PLAYLISTS REVEAL THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Thanks to the Virus, isolating couples are spending quantity time together like never before. But how is all this togetherness affecting your relationship? Remember The Shining? If only clueless screamer Shelley Duvall had realized that after spending a winter with Shelley in the middle of nowhere, husband Jack Nicholson’s state of mind had changed to the point where he went after her with an axe.
In that film Jack never told Shelley he yearned to dismember her. She never had a Early Warning System. If only she could have said, “Hubby, put down the axe and play me some songs that represent where you are in our relationship”
Shelley could then have made up playlists like those below for Jack to choose from and thus reveal his feelings about her. I’m betting on Playlist Eight.
Playlist One: The Honeymoon Stage. No worries.
More Than A Feeling – Boston
Tonight’s the Night – Rod Stewart
Let’s Get It On! – Marvin Gaye
The Stripper – David Rose Orchestra
Love to Love You Baby – Donna Summer
Gonna Make You Sweat – C+C Music Factory
Playlist Two: It Gets Old Stage: Quite normal..
“I love you but I’m not in the mood”.
I Can’t Explain – The Who
One Thing Leads To Another – The Fixx
Under Pressure – David Bowie
Not Ready To Make Nice – Dixie Chicks
Keep Your Hands to Yourself – Georgia Satellites
Playlist Three: The Claustrophobic Stage: Not unusual I love you but you are so clingy!”
You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me – The Miracles
I Want You Back – Jackson Five
If You Leave me Now – Chicago
Haven’t Got Time For The Pain – Carly Simon
Big Girls Don’t Cry – The Four Seasons
Needy – Ariana Grande
Playlist Four: The Resentment Stage: “Why am I doing everything?” You can fix this.
Respect – Aretha Franklin
A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke
More Than This – Roxy Music
Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds
With You Or Without You – U-2
Chain Gang – Sam Cooke
Playlist Five: The Realism Stage “Now I see you as you are.” So you need to change a little? No problem.
Hurt – Johnny Cash
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? – Culture Club
You’re So Vain – Carly Simon
True Colours – Cyndi Lauper
Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who
Playlist Six: The Acceptance Stage Why the LCBO is an essential service
Sherry – The Four Seasons
Tequila – The Champs
Red Red Wine – UB-40
There’s a Tear in my Beer – Hank Williams
Warm Beer and Cold Women – Tom Waits
The Needle And The Damage Done – Neil Young
Playlist Seven The Desperation Stage Get out while you still can.
Close to the Edge – Yes
Livin’ La Vida Loca – Ricky Martin
Virtual Insanity – Jamiroquai
It’s All Over Now – The Rolling Stones
Runaway – Del Shannon
Go Now – The Moody Blues
Hit the Road Jack – Ray Charles
Playlist Eight The Mayhem Stage “Here’s Johnny!”
Take On Me – A-Ha
Love Hurts – Nazareth
Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benatar
Nut Rocker – B Bumble & The Stingers
If I Had A Hammer – Peter, Paul, and Mary
Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
Unfortunately Shelley existed in a 1980 horror film and did not have access to playlists. But you do. This is not to say that your isolation partner has become an homicidal maniac. But it wouldn’t hurt to use this method to double check. Amazon reports online sales of axes are skyrocketing!