WITHER THE CANINE VOTE?
With the recent passing of the Canine Voting Rights Act, and the withstanding of its final legal challenge in Buddy vs Romney, the last majority opinion Justice Scalia ever wrote, the question now becomes how will the canine vote affect the 2016 General Election?
Indeed, had the CVRA not been signed into law by Joe Biden, under the guise of an April Fool’s prank, it would have been just another victim of the political deadlock in Washington. Would President Obama have seen through the trickery and vetoed the bill? Possibly, but he was in Nairobi at the time, renewing his citizenship.
When we look at battleground states, we see 23,000 canine votes in Florida, where Governor Rick Scott is already catering to man’s best friend, drastically cutting state funds to Obedience Schools, virtually putting them out of business. In addition he has created a million new jobs, mostly to working dogs, paying seven biscuits an hour. He also proposes to drop the tax on tennis balls.
Republicans are counting on canine support for the No-Kill Shelters plank in their 2016 election platform. But since both neutered males and spayed females identify as trans-gendered, the bigger question is will Independents be put off the GOP by the legislation passed in North Carolina and contemplated elsewhere? The obvious solution would be for Republicans to promise to end neutering and spaying altogether. This would be certainly gain traction with their Pro Life wing.
Using funds bequeathed to them by eccentric owners, dogs are already forming Super PACs. The St Bernard PAC supports Senator Sanders and has attracted considerable small donations. Larger contributions tend to flow to the unfortunately named Bitches For Hilary PAC. Ted Cruz benefits from The Man’s Only Friend PAC., while Donald Trump is just beginning to organize his Come, Sit, Speak, Beg, and Roll Over PAC.
Pundits say that restricting the canine vote to the one per cent, namely the 403,000 registered purebred Kennel Club of America members was a masterwork of voter suppression. With 78 million Heinz 57 types turned away at the polls for lack of KCA ID, the chances of the canine franchise being swayed by typical Democrat entitlement bribery, such as a single-payer Fidocare, are minimized.
The Act gives Republicans new hope that whoever becomes the nominee will receive enough canine votes to make the difference in November. Although the GOP has obviously written off the 42,000 Chihuahua and 24,000 Shih Tzus, there are many other breeds that are seen as potential supporters. German Shepherds, American Boxers and Pit Bull Terriers combine for more than 70,000 potential votes
But only resident KCA dogs qualify. So Siberian Huskies in Siberia are out.
Even if they can see Alaska from their doghouse!
