How to Improve a Port Paradise

Build a Cosmetic Surgery Complex

It’s pretty obvious that time and gravity takes its toll on our bodies.  But do we just have to succumb?  Can’t we fight back with all the weapons at our disposal?  Some people say that we should just let nature take its course.  But it could be argued that God never intended  Adam and Eve to age whilst in the Garden of Eden.  But thanks to Eve, here we all are.  Fortunately we found another Paradise.

We know that for single women of a certain age, competition is fierce to lasso that hunky widower into matrimony before the troll next door can get her fake nails into him.  It’s all about survival of the fittest.  So if we look fitter than that old bat, we have a head start on the whole matrimony scheme.  Of course this is because deep down, that hunky widower is shallow.  He is programmed to respond to the most superficial qualities in the opposite sex.

Unfortunately  those qualities are physical, and if  you or that hag don’t rope him in, some gold-digging line dancer from Lynhurst, who has had extensive work done, will!  Don’t we have to fight fire with fire sometimes?

Sure it costs, but we would allow our facilities to be used by Almost Cosmetic Surgeons who just need a little more real-world education to obtain their specialized degree.  These ACS’s would do the work for cheap in return for the practical experience.  Yes, these newbies could easily go all Phantom of the Opera on us, but isn’t that a chance worth taking?

It might be pricey to give the cleavage a little boost, but why face the expense all at once?  Do the one side one year and the other the next!  In between time, Victoria’s Secret sells a special bra to accommodate our temporary situation.

And it’s not like only women need help.  How many women  have gazed up at their groom and former sweetheart, only to be turned off by hairs sprouting from his nostrils and ear holes?  Why can’t our ACS’s take those hairs and graft them to the scalp of our beloved?

That’s killing two birds with one stone!

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