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How to Improve a Port Paradise

Archives How to Improve a Port Paradise

         WINSTON STAG’S KOKOMO ADDRESS

Deerly Beloved,  we are gathered here to take measures against the threats to our very existence.  We have always had to deal with the Nasties, from  when natives used their bows and arrows, up to now when Nasty men with small packages use big guns. But somehow we survived. Now those Nasties have come up with a final solution to exterminate us.  They are doubling their population, building houses, felling trees and crowding us out of our homeland on the…

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Archives How to Improve a Port Paradise

HIRE DOCTORS’ MOMS

DOC: OMG, she’s about to give birth right in my office! MOM: So deliver it already! DOC: Only specialists do that these days. I could get sued if things go wrong! MOM: I delivered you myself in the back of a taxi! Stand back! Why Doctors’ Moms doing the work of a Nurse Practitioner? Harken back to a time when your Mom was the first person you came to when you had a “boo-boo” or an “ouchie”, the flu, a…

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Archives How to Improve a Port Paradise

LET’S ELIMINATE TOURISTS

Tourists are very nice people who come to our picturesque portside piece of heaven and turn it into a living hell! These Spawn of Satan plague residents with doofus questions like: “Is that the water?”, “Can I eat at that restaurant?” “Do I look fat in this Speedo?” They have to go! Local government has thankfully come to the same conclusion by making the day tripper experience as deadly as possible. How? Well heatstroke killed more than 600 people in…

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