How to Improve a Port Paradise

Compulsory Ballroom Dance Lessons for Couples

Well, at least compulsory attendance.  Of course if you believe that sex is wrong because it leads to dancing, you would be excused.  But watching couples enjoying themselves vertically might do our heart good.

Some women may be afraid that they would embarrass themselves.  But we have to remember that we have a lot more rhythm than him.  Thankfully he doesn’t realize that.  The problem is, that contrary to every-day life, he is supposed to lead, and you are supposed to follow.  But you know what will happen if that takes place.  Your role is to stealth lead, so that neither the instructor nor your partner catches on.  This might sound difficult, but peek over your partner’s shoulder and you will see it is happening all around you.

A lot of dancers dread the moment when the instructor tells us to switch partners.  For some of us this is akin to adultery!  But it’s more like speed dating.  We get to experience what’s out there if, God forbid, our partner collapses after a torrid tango and we are once more single.

Anyway, it doesn’t hurt for our partners to see us dance with a total stranger.  A little jealousy can spice up a relationship.  The worse that can happen is that our spouse waltzes away, disappears, and we later learn they are living in sin in the Sodom and Gomorrah section of  Lynhurst.

Dancing is a glamorous option for personal fitness, resulting in you sweating like a pig, so you must take steps to prevent this beforehand. Excessive use of deodorants is highly recommended, and don’t forget to apply them to the palms of your hands.  Buy mouthwash.  Your eyes may not be the sharpest, so make sure the label reads “mouthwash” and not “mothwash”.

Bring it with you in a brown paper bag.  Knock it back and let the alcohol work its magic.  Your partner will be thrilled at the effect on your confidence, not to mention your breath!

Finally, we will be constantly reminded to watch the very fit instructor’s feet during demonstrations.  If the instructor is of the opposite sex, make sure the gaze doesn’t wander upward.
Your partner might make you regret it!

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