How to Improve a Port Paradise

Everyone gets a tattoo

Remember when you awoke after that wild and crazy night only to discover that your butt was sore?  Maybe there were many mornings like that, but on this occasion you were horrified to discover  a tattoo of a heart back there with the name “Kim” in the middle. Well, if you don’t remember, maybe you should check yourself out in a mirror.  Those things don’t go away.

Ever since, you have wondered, was Kim a guy or a girl?  Of course this was years ago, in your wild youth.  You had just become a parent, and were probably out celebrating.  Still, for three years you never appeared in the buff with your partner, and when you did, you never turned your back.

Then you had to pretend that “Kim” was the name of that new baby.  In fact, you kept referring to her as “Kim” until your partner pointed out that her actual name was “Sally”.  Well, that was when tattoos were a mark of shame for a man and a “tramp stamp” for a woman. Unless you loved your mother and served in the navy, your tattoo was a disgrace.

But nowadays more than a third of younger people are inked, as well as fifteen per cent of baby boomers. For baby boomers, tattoos can also commemorate those  special “firsts”. First Pension Check, First Golden Anniversary, First Early Bird Special, or our First Endoscopy.   Trust us, grandkids will glance up from their cell phones in acknowledgement of your Coolness.

Fortunately, tattoo artists make special accommodations for boomers.  The needle pierces our skin slightly shallower, and they seek out parts of our body where there is no sagging flesh. That’s needle-in-a-haystack territory, so to speak, so the search usually takes up the first visit. While the result is fresh, unfortunately the rest of us is stale.

While getting worked on, if you fainted during high school inoculations, try to think of memories even more painful, like root canal, Fat Elvis, child birth or fainting during high school inoculations.
You could even focus on our next cool project.

Body piercing!

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