DOC: OMG, she’s about to give birth right in my office!
MOM: So deliver it already!
DOC: Only specialists do that these days. I could get sued if things go wrong!
MOM: I delivered you myself in the back of a taxi! Stand back!
Why Doctors’ Moms doing the work of a Nurse Practitioner? Harken back to a time when your Mom was the first person you came to when you had a “boo-boo” or an “ouchie”, the flu, a bad cold. They got this!
DOC: The patient wants antibiotics for the flu virus. Should I?
MOM: Don’t be a putz! Here, give her this chicken soup.
Ontario has fewer doctors per capita than Mongolia.
DOC: Patient says they got fibromyalgia. What a joke!
MOM: I got fibro myself, you insensitive jerk! Send her to me!
By some estimates, Nurse Practitioners could do about 80 per cent of what GPs do. But there are too few, thanks to some doctors’ hostility and the resulting turf wars
DOC: Aunt Bertha is out there claiming to be our new Receptionist!
MOM: Yeah, I fired the old one. Bertha’s bored. She’ll do it for nothing
DOC: Peaches is gone?
MOM: I’m trying to save your marriage.
DOC: Actually you are saving me money.
MOM; Yeah, with the savings I hired a Nurse Practitioner for evenings.
DOC: Why?
MOM What? You were thinking nobody gets sick after 4:30?
An estimated 4.2 million Canadians have no doctor, and no choice but to clog up our ERs with conditions that are not emergencies.
DOC: What’s that?
MOM: Happy Birthday, baby!
DOC: It’s a gym membership. Why me?
MOM: They take the mirrors down in your house? Some example you are.
DOC: Some birthday present!
MOM: Relax. Your birthday isn’t until December.
Canada’s physician-to-population ratio (age-adjusted) ranked 26th among 28 developed nations that maintain universal access health care.
MOM: Who was that young woman I was yelling at, with the expensive suit and nice leather briefcase?
DOC: Why were you yelling at Bambi? She’s a sales rep for Acme Drugs.
MOM: She breezed right in here ahead of the lineup in your waiting room, asking for you! So Bambi’s not an escort?
DOC: How it works is, if I prescribe her stuff she gets me a nice Xmas present.
MOM: She said she was sorry and gave me this ski vacation at Whistler!
DOC: Mom, that’s intended for me!
MOM: I’m doing this for nothing! Do I look like Mother Teresa to you? .
Doctor’s Moms are the tough-minded women who inspired their sons and daughters to learn and achieve.
MOM: Don’t you think you need to keep up with the times?
DOC: Mom, it hasn’t been that long since I was in Med School!
MOM: It’s been twenty years. So I signed you up for The Medical Association’s Refresher Course.
DOC: What?
MOM: I hope that’s not hostility I hear.
DOC: Mom stop! That smarts!
You wanna be hostile to your Mom? You might require medical attention yourself!
