Archives Self Help For Other People




From the safety of his window perch, our Golden Retriever harasses virtually everyone who walks past our house. It doesn’t matter who these strangers are, what language they are speaking, how they are dressed, they all get the growl and the bark. They are not one of the pack.


Maybe it’s just because he’s unfortunate enough to be born a dog. He has to sit. He has to beg. He has to roll over. He’s on a short leash. He sees humans. He knows what they get to eat. What does he get? Scraps! He sees what Mom and Dad get up to. Yeah, and they had the nerve to get him neutered! Is it his fault that life is unfair?


On the other hand, he may fear that somewhere in China, they are making dog robots to bark and growl, who can recognize friend from foe, that do not shed their fur, do not vomit on the rug after eating grass or chew slippers or who eat their own frozen poop and then barf it up in front of company.


You buy a Golden from a reputable breeder, costs you a grand. Is that Chinese robot cheaper? Could it put him out of a job? Regardless, he loves his family and protects their loved ones. When Timmy falls down a well, he’s on it! It’s the outsiders, the exotic passersby, that throw him for a loop.


But here’s the thing. When the pooch actually meets them, they get the sniffing, the licking and if he’s really glad to see them, the odd hump. Seems like it’s much harder to growl at folks once you’ve actually met them. Like they say, “Less barking, more wagging”.


Maybe he reminds us of the Old Fart who used to scream at us kids to get off his lawn. But that is so yesterday. Now, through the anonymity of social media. we can tell the group with whom we will never take a meal, whose children we will never bounce on our laps, to get off our turf! We can bark at them, growl at them, share fake news about them. All from a distance.


Because of that distance, we never get to meet them. Sad.


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