How to Improve a Port Paradise


Maybe this idea is a little far out, but when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.  For one thing, women live longer than men.  So there is always a shortage of guys, plus a bunch of lonely women who regret they  nagged their late husband into an early grave and wish they had a second chance.  Polygamy says ”Let’s give them that chance!”

Before the religious among us get real upset, we remind you that there is a ton of polygamy in the Bible.  In 2 Samuel 5:13 King David had six wives and numerous concubines.  In 1Kings 11:3, his son, King Solomon, had 700 wives and 300 concubines.  In  2 Chronicles 11:21 King Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, had 18 wives and 60 concubines.  What can we learn from this, besides that concubines ran in the family?

a)  The above kings probably enjoyed 24/7 nagging.
b)  “David” and “Solomon” caught on as names for boys, but strangely,     “Rehoboam” never did.
c) He was also shorted on the concubines.
d) Plus he had the worst wife-to-concubine ratio.
e) Once he stated “ littlest finger is thicker than my father’s loins.”
f) Poor guy. A freak.  So we have to cut Rehoboam some slack.

Men here may feel they have their hands full with just one spouse.  Maybe they would feel that they are somehow sinning. Maybe they remember that Commandment where God doesn’t want them coveting their neighbor’s ass, or his wife.  But that neighbor has wolfed down his last perch dinner.  And if he was married before, he could be in Heaven, hanging with his first wife, looking down and saying, “You go girl!”

And aren’t we guaranteeing ourselves a place in Heaven by coming to the aid of lonely widow women?  Why would our present wives object to a bit of alone time, where for once in their lives they don’t have us hanging around, raiding the fridge and disturbing them when they are trying to watch Real Housewives of Lynhurst?  Plus if our hubby is spending time with some other chick, he will probably soon come to realize how good he has it with us!
What could possibly go wrong?

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